After boarding a cap yesterday, a woman carrying a baby came by with her high school son who was leaving for school with his trunk and chop box. After bargaining with the driver on the fare the woman realized the money she had given to her son wasn’t going to be enough to see her son through the whole journey. She then pleaded with the driver to take less than they had already agreed on to which he disagreed, then our car sped off leaving the woman behind. Being held up in a traffic about five minutes later, we were all shocked to see the same woman right by our car still pleading with the driver. The driver burst out ” woman are you a witch, how did you get here so soon” and we all laughed out. She ignored that comment with a smile still pleading and didn’t stop till the driver agreed. She then turned to her son sitting next to me, looking like his mum was embarrassing him and said “smile, why that long face, do want a bread?”. Its amazing and sometimes funny how far a mother will go to give her child what he or she needs.
I’ve had most of my clients complaint how tough they had to cope with the minor disorders in pregnancy, some resulting to them being hospitalized right from their first trimester and often they will say “I wish I were at term so all this will be over”. At term when the pain is unbearable, they look up to delivering so they can finally rest. The baby comes out and during postnatal the complaint of lack of rest and how they get no sleep at all compared to when they were pregnant. Then they say “I’m praying my baby grows so I can have some rest”. The baby becomes a toddler, through adolescence and adulthood yet there is no enough rest for the mother.
I’ve seen women who had serious conditions surfacing during pregnancy that put their lives at risk, yet chose to go through pregnancy and labour giving priority to the unborn child. Some either lose the baby spontaneously half way through, or lose their lives leaving behind the new born, or die along with the baby and for once I have never seen a sign of regret on any of those dying mothers’ faces in choosing to have those babies amidst all the pain and suffering. There was only the pain of leaving that child behind and alone on earth without a mother. I guess that is why the Akans in Ghana refers to God as “Nyame baatanpa” simply in English as God being a Good Mother. Since its often a mother who loves much to be willing to lay her life for her child, even the ones not yet born.
The question is Who is a Mother ?
Is it one that carries a pregnancy to term and delivers?, is it one that takes care of child bringing him or her up?, or is it every woman?
A mother is one who makes the world seems lighter amidst the heartbreaking and torturing things within. One who only sees and feels your pain like theirs does not exist. One that makes you feel safe even when facing a lion because you know the loin has to go through them in order to get to you. One that makes even a prison feels like home. Its not necessarily one that gives birth to you but one that gives you all the above and more. The amazing thing is nobody is taught how to be a mother, and no amount of counseling can prepare a mother adequately for what lies ahead since every child is different. Each day they wake up wanting to give out everything not knowing what will please her child much. It doesn’t matter how much or how many times a child wrong or hurt her mother, she is willing and praying to have them back in her arms.
They sometimes seems annoying and so overprotective since a mother want to do everything to keep her child safe even if it means fighting that child. Since her child’s pain is unbearable to them, no wonder we find some mothers protecting their child even for a wrong cause.
A mother is a whole new thing, never existing before a child is born, but the moment a child is born a mother is also born. Like to say A Guardian Angel is born.
Having children just puts the whole world into perspective, everything else just disappear. Thoughtful mothers recognize that the joy of raising children comes in the daily journey, not in reaching the specific destination. That is because one does not stop being a mother at a point but forever remains a mother even when she is no more.
Its tough being a mother but above all its tougher on a mother to see her child suffering. Even animals although considered unwise knows what it means to be a mother. Mothers are hardly to come by, I guess that is why they have a special place in each ones heart which can never be taken or replaced. Hold on firm to yours if they still lives and more firmly to the beautiful memories you have of them if they are gone because they will always be watching and protecting you from above.
HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY TO EVERY WOMAN!!
DEDICATED: TO MY MUM