It’s surprising why we keep teaching our boys and burdening our men with the phrase “Barima Nsu” Men Don’t Shed Tears.

A little illustration;
Two people bleeding, one bleeding internally and the other visibly or outwardly, who is more prone to death?
The one that bleeds internally.

A visible bleeding easily attract and the required management is administered where as an internal bleeding can only be noted by taking a scan.
Most people die from bleeding internally cos it’s often noted at later stages.

The same applies to this, in the upbringing of a child the male is taught that they need to be brave and strong and as such if they cry it is a sign of weakness even when in pain, shedding tears is attached to women.

As a woman cry when hurting, a man in order to prove how strong he is conceals his pain by not shedding tears outwardly and ends up bleeding internally all because “Barima Nsu“.

It is often said that women easily get over a painful experience where as men never do because they don’t fully go through the process of healing nor grieving.

Accepting that you’re hurt and in pain is part of the healing process.
It’s only after acceptance that one can think of moving on.
When you never accept or embrace the pain you will never heal.

People mostly attribute embracing pain and shedding tears to weakness so men don’t practice that because they are told they need to be brave and strong.

In reality embracing your pain and shedding tears is an act of bravery. When you overcome each painful experience you only grow stronger and feel like you can face anything.

So instead of burdening men by telling them “Barima Nsu”.
Let’s tell them and teach the young ones that it’s okay to sometimes shed tears.

So that they can live a life without fear of being hurt again, rather be prepared to face any challenge with the believe that they can overcome any pain.

With that they wouldn’t have to bleed internally and die within.


  1. Very true,this is an eye opener for those of us with male children.We have to let them know it is okay to let out our emotions and not suppress them.


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